Slacker

I cannot believe how long it has been since my last post. Over two months, and so much has happened! I mostly blame my lack of blogging on Emilia. She likes to do what I am doing, which is great when I am not trying to read, practice my guitar, eat lunch (she prefers to share my food), or typing on the computer. I would just wait for nap time, but she sleeps in the computer room (keeping my fingers crossed about that whole computer causes cancer thing). This is my most intense child, and I love her for it. She feels things deeply, which means we have a lot of drama. But because she feels things deeply we also see and experience a tremendous amount of joy with her. It's totally worth it. Emilia is approaching two years of age and I lover her more every day. If she is in the mood, she will repeat anything I say. Outside of that, she does little speaking of real words (although there is plenty of gibberish). Her biggest obsession right now is going outside. Most mornings, the first thing she does is bring me her shoes in hopes that I will put them on her and send her outside. Just mention the word "outside" and she goes running out the door. It is such a joy to watch her explore her little world. Her other obsession is her dad, who she talks about all the time (Dad? Dad? My dad! My dad!). She squeals with joy when he comes home, and is his right hand man when he is working outside. All of my kids have loved their dad at this age, but she might be my first who actually prefers him over me much of the time. I think the feeling is mutual! Emilia has real intent in life, and is happy as long as nobody interferes with her plans. Usually I can accommodate, but not always. This is when we see the drama. She is a girl who knows what she wants!

I swear Carson is going to grow up to be some sort of engineer. That kid loves to build. We got him Legos for Christmas, and he makes some pretty cool stuff, mostly trains and planes and towers. That is, when I can get him motivated. Carson likes to take it easy in life, which makes him peaceful. This in turn gives me peace... unless I am trying to get him to do something in a hurry. In those cases he brings frustration. The poor kid doesn't mean anything by it, he just is not in any rush to do anything at all. He is also really into hiding, which from the outside is precious. But again, if I am trying to get somewhere it is super frustrating. Say for example, I leave to find his shoes for him. When I come back he is nowhere to be seen. If I am lucky, his giggles will quickly lead me to him hiding behind furniture, in the back seat of the car, under his covers in his bed, etc... If I were smart I would allot some time for hiding in my getting-ready schedule. It might stress both of us out less. What a sweet boy though.  I have noticed lately how tough he can be when experiencing physical injury. Things like falling down or bumping his head don't really phase him. However, if a person hurts him it breaks his heart. It is a tenderness that I hope he holds onto.

I am in some serious trouble with Rachel. Apparently the fact that she is someday going to be the Red Power Ranger was some big secret. She is mad because I told everyone. So if you could all forget that I said anything, that would be great. Rachel has a really rich fantasy life, which I adore. I try really hard to encourage her, for two reasons. First of all, I love it when she tells me about her fantasy world, and I don't want her to sense that I think it is silly. Second, because I think the longer she holds onto her desire to pretend, the longer she can stay a child. And I think in this day and age that is a good thing. Especially since in many ways she is trying to grow up too soon. Yesterday she wanted to ride bikes with a 5th and 6th grader in our neighborhood. I know the 5th grader, but not the 6th grader. Shelby and I just didn't feel good about it. She was devistated at being told "no" and acted very (to quote the great Clif Huxtable) "teenager-y" about it. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a lot of similar situations.

I have to give a little shout out to my sisters for their interest in my kids this past week. It was spring break, but also the Friday before was mine and Shelby's anniversary. My sister Sarah took Rachel Saturday night for us, with the plan of me picking her up Sunday afternoon. Sunday afternoon rolled around and she called with an offer to keep Rachel for a couple more days. There is nothing Rachel loves more than spending time with her cousins. At Sarah's house she was in her element. Of course if you ask her if she had fun, she will first tell you about how Maya ran her over with a four-wheeler. She's fine of course, but she does have a flare for the dramatic.

The rest of spring break was just as fun as I hoped it would be. It started with a huge family Easter egg hunt at my aunt Gigi's house Saturday afternoon. Tuesday we went to see a 3-D movie (the Croods). Wednesday was sand dunes day. Then my awesome big sister (Shout-out to you, Summer) kept all the potty trained cousins for a sleep-over. To understand the significance of this you have to recognize that this came to 13 kids in all. And she did it willingly! I came back to her house to help the cousins decorate Easter eggs. Thursday night through Friday was Recover-From-Fun time. Saturday we planted our spring garden and decorated our own eggs. Then of course Sunday was Easter. We spent Easter day with cousins again. It was a great finale to a great week.

All of the spring break fun proved too much for Lilly's immune system. On Sunday morning she woke up with a bad sore throat and spent the day in and out of consciousness. She didn't even want any of her Easter candy! Remember Lilly was sick with the flu from Christmas Eve through most of Christmas break. At one point Easter morning she exclaimed, "Why am I always sick at every holiday?" Good question Lilly. This sore throat thing she had lasted about 4 days. She was mostly a good sport. One night, around 3am after I had to comfort her for a second time she said, "I'm sorry you had to get up with me again mom." Which of course broke my heart. By the end of the 4 day stretch however, we were both pretty grumpy. I was quite happy to send her back to school yesterday.

So a couple of Lilly speaks. She is in kindergarten, and learning to read. Of course she is also in primary and learning about Jesus. One day she said to me, "Mom, if I were Jesus, I would make it so all the words are spelled how they sound." How very wise.

Last night Rachel was outside helping Shelby water the grass. Lilly wanted to go out but she was already in her jammies. When she said that wasn't fair I told her that she got to have cuddle time with me instead. From there we had a frustrating conversation where she kept saying "Do they?" meaning, do Rachel and Carson get to cuddle too. I thought she was saying "Today?" As in, do we get to cuddle today? So every time she would ask, "Do they?" I would respond with something like, "Yes today, Lilly. We can cuddle right now." Then she would get frustrated and repeat herself with something like, "NO! Do they get to cuddle?" And I would say "Yes! Today we get to cuddle!" Finally, with her close to tears and me not feeling much like cuddling anymore, we just looked at each other and started to laugh.

I love my kids! I am feeling very joyful at the thought of having these four little people in my life for eternity. They are so cool, and I like them so much! I can't wait to see what they do in life and how they develope as human beings.

Emmy First

Let's shake things up this week and start with Emilia. She is 18 months now, which in my mind makes her mostly child, mixed with a little bit of baby. Emilia is the dancing queen! I think all babies dance to music at this age, but she doesn't just dance to music. She dances when Shelby chants her name, she dances when I sing (which I definitely do not consider music), she even danced to the tune of a car alarm that went off in the Costco parking lot the other day. It is so darn stinking cute! She also talks more now, when she is in the mood. She can say the following words clearly: Mom, Dad, uh-oh, cat, snow, and of course, no(!). She says a lot of other unintelligible things, and is always telling stories. Lilly said the blessing last night at dinner. She is notoriously long-winded, blessing everything from the table to all the little animals. Right in the middle of her prayer, Emmy piped up with "Blah, blah!" Emilia has also suddenly grown quite attached to Rachel, which is new. Up until now she has very much had a "look but don't touch" relationship with her sibling. Now at any point if I won't hold her, she turns directly to Rachel to pick her up. Today when Rachel left for school, Emmy was downright mad, and told me all about it! Boy it is exciting that she is old enough now for me to actually have fun stuff to say about her.

On the way to school last week Lilly gave me a stern lecture about the dangers of drinking and driving. She was concerned because I had brought my smoothie (alcohol-free, of course) with me to drink on the way. Rachel quickly corrected Lilly and reassured her that it was only things "like, like, alcohol, and smoking cigarettes that you are not supposed to do while you drive."

So Lilly has this friend Elizabeth who is not a member of the church. Yesterday I overheard the following conversation:

Lilly: Elizabeth, did you know Jesus died for us? Because he loved us so much?
Elizabeth: .... Umm, yes?
Lilly: But don't worry, he came back to life!
Elizabeth: Lilly, if you saw Jesus, would you fall in love on him?
Lilly:... Umm, yes?

I have been making an attempt to spend 15 minutes every day one-on-one with my three older children. Lilly's favorite way to spend this time with me is to color. Her second favorite is to play a card game called Casino, which she almost always beats me at, followed by Slap Jack, which she always beats me at. With Slap Jack, I had been taking it easy on her at first, but yesterday I gave it my all and she still killed me! A little hard on my pride, I have to say.

What is important to Rachel beyond all else is that the adults in her world take her seriously. This means no laughing at her expense, and listening to her ideas and dreams without judgement. Sometimes this is hard to do, like when she really really wants to cut her hair "short like a boy" so it isn't in her face all the time (we compromised and did a bob cut, which is very cute on her). It is easier to be supportive when she tells me she is going to train to be a Power Ranger because I can support her in theory, but I know she will lose interest before she really leaves to protect the world from Nighlocks. Not snickering when she tells me about one of her many boyfriends and then says "but don't tell him, he doesn't know he is my boyfriend!" is hard. Helping her make a sign about saving the world, easier. Helping her plan a Christmas party for all the kids in her class, devastatingly hard. But only because I was terrified nobody would come (if I haven't mentioned it already, it was a huge success!). I love that girl and want her to succeed, but parenting her has been something that has required a lot of thought and reflection, not to mention many many tears on her part and mine.

So I have learned something about my boy. I am lucky to have a child with such an easy-going nature. He seems to be ok with just about everything in life. He can eat, or not eat. He will wear whatever I want him to. If the girls want him to play a part in their games, he will do it without complaint (although he almost always morphs into a monster or a dinosaur at some point during the game). I am lucky he is this way, but there is always a downside to every personality type. The downside of his easy-going nature is that he also does not care about time constraints. "Carson you need to get dressed quickly" means nothing to him. "Please eat your breakfast now because we have to go" goes in one ear and out the other. "If you want to go get ice cream, you have to clean your room now!" rolls right off his back. That kid has one speed, and it is sloth slow. I'll take it though. It is a small price to pay for some peace among my other three very intense kids.

Christmas and Other Stuff

Wow, it has been a while. I'm going to have to search my memory a ways back to make sure I get everything. Let's start with Christmas at the Rayl house. Aside from a couple of minor hiccups, it was a success! Christmas Eve day was spent picking up a few little gifts and visiting with my grandpa (who my kids call "Papa the Grape") and his wife Joan at their ranch. Then instead of our usual Christmas Eve out to dinner, we got burgers at the drive through and ate at home, which I loved! We actually did a lot of wrapping prior to Christmas Eve, so Shelby and I did not have to spend the usual hours and hours that night wrapping and sorting out presents. We both wanted to avoid things like running out of wrapping paper (as happened last year around midnight Christmas Eve. Thank goodness for good neighbors who stay up late and are well-prepared!). Lilly was not feeling well Christmas Eve day and I figured she probably was coming down with a cold. I always have a hard time sleeping Christmas Eve because of the excitement, even now that I am an adult. I had finally just dozed of when Lilly came up panicked because she couldn't stop coughing and was having a hard time breathing. She did sound really miserable, so we cuddled her, doctored her up, and made a bed for her on the floor by our room. Her coughing kept her and us up so eventually we moved her to the living room, but she still could not sleep. At this point it was 3am, and all three of us were exhausted. Finally in desperation to get some personal sleep I put some cartoons on for Lilly, hoping it would distract her from her cough long enough to help her doze off. It did not work. Instead, a few minutes later Carson got up and joined her in watching TV. Neither of them ever did get back to sleep. Around 6am Rachel joined them, and then they all pestered us to get up to open presents. We were able to put them off until 7, and then we succumbed. I got a few hours of precious sleep, but I don't think Shelby ever was able to go back to sleep.

We try to do Christmas pretty cheap. I spent hours and days leading up to Christmas searching Amazon and various toy stores to find one or two big gifts for each kids, and a few small things that they needed (think socks and underwear), all for a reasonable price. Rachel got a guitar, Lilly got beads and a puppy purse (just exactly what she wanted, and very cheap), and Carson got a Thomas train set. Other various gifts included a box of Legos, a Hungry Hippos game (mostly for Rachel. In case you don't remember, she wanted a hippo for Christmas), a box of Roald Dahl books, art supplies from the dollar store, and puzzles, along with said underwear and socks. Pretty good Christmas, right? Well then Shelby went out and found a used trampoline, which he set up the night before. Ask any of my three older kids, and what do you think they will tell you your favorite gift was? Was it the guitar I fretted over for days before buying? Was it the Thomas train set that I was beyond excited to give Carson? Was it the cute puppy purse Lilly asked for? Nope, it was the trampoline that I had nothing to do with. I sound more bitter than I am. I'm glad they love it, and I think it will be a great thing to have around.

After opening presents we had breakfast and started to prepare to head out to my parents' house to open presents with cousins. Lilly looked miserable and said she didn't want to go. Lilly lives for cousin-time, so this should give you some idea of how sick she felt. And remember, Carson and her had both been up since 3am. The two of them climbed into our bed and promptly fell asleep. I took Emmy and Rachel to Nonna and Papa's, and Shelby and the others met up with us there a few hours later.

Oh, I forgot to mention how spoiled I got. Shelby bought me Shakespeare Festival season tickets again, along with a gift card for my Kindle, new pans that I desperately needed, a case for my phone, and various other little treats. I got him socks. OK, I got him more than socks, but no where near as cool of stuff as he got me. Plus, after present-opening with my family, he insisted on taking the kids home while I went to Les Miserables with my siblings and parents. While I was gone he cleaned the whole house AND did the laundry. I am a lucky woman!

Post-Christmas, we spent the entire day playing with our new stuff. Nobody was required to dress, clean, eat, or bathe if they didn't want to. It was the best! Post-post Christmas, when Lilly's horrible cough and sore throat mutated into the stomach flu, I finally took her into the doctor. Turns out she had the flu. The real flu. You know, the kind that makes you wish you were dead. She is such a trooper when it comes to being sick.

I have Christmas pictures that I took on my phone. Great pictures in fact, but my phone is not cooperating and they got lost somewhere in cyberspace on their way to my email. Once my tech-savvy husband comes home I will get them posted!