The Celebrity

In our world, my house is LA, I am Angelina Jolie, and my kids are like paparazzi, minus the cameras. Everything I do is news. this morning while I was brushing my teeth I looked in the mirror to see 3 little faces staring  back at me, like it was the most interesting thing they had ever seen. They think wherever I am is where the entertainment is. The other day I went into the bathroom only to have Lilly follow me because, and I quote "I want to watch you pee." I have had to go to locking the door when I use the bathroom, and hiding while I eat my lunch. I really have to watch what I say and do, because it is bound to be repeated to any number of people. The only major difference between my kids and the paparazzi is that my kids are well taken care of by the celebrity they follow around. How many  paparazzi do you know who are served 3 square meals a day plus snacks by their celebrities?

We have a new no talking rule while I am on the phone. The girls are no longer allowed to cry, ask me questions, or play near me if I am talking to someone. This all came about because of a conversation I had with the customer service representative from Intermountain Gas. In the beginning of our conversation Rachel was yelling impatiently for me, which was distracting and annoying. Whatever her need was, she wanted me to come to her. Finally I held the phone away from my ear and yelled back "I'm on the phone!" The lady on the other end muttered a "whoa!" She asked for a confirmation number which was upstairs. I went up to the computer room where the kids were just in time to see Rachel and Carson fall off the desk chair. Both started crying, and I could not hear a word the lady was saying, so what did I do? I ran away. As I have already said these children follow me everywhere, so they were hot on my heels. I am not sure why, but at this point Lilly had also started to cry. I ran back to the computer room and locked the door. All three children were banging on the door crying, and the customer service lady was asking some inane question that had nothing to do with the reason I called. It was a question I did not have the answer to off the top of my head so I finally told her that I could not deal with this right now and we would have to do it later. Then she hung up on me. I don't think she has kids.  In the end I was stressed, and the kids were beside themselves. Hence the new rule. Despite all of this lack of patience on my side, they are still my number one fans.

Carson usually is my alarm clock in the mornings. I can hear him talking, which lets me know it is time to think about getting up. I have had to be a little quicker lately once I hear him talking or I am bound to come in and find him naked. He must get bored waiting for me, and with nothing else to do, he takes his clothes off. Not a big deal unless he hasn't had his morning pee before he takes everything off. I haven't woken up to poop yet.