Christmas Tree and Other Things

We finally put up our Christmas tree last night. It is a big bushy 9 footer that rubs right against the ceiling. Tonight we will do Christmas lights. I cannot believe we have waited this long, considering the pressure we have been getting from our kids. Every day, several times a day since mid-November at least one of our children asks when we are going to do Christmas decorations. Since our neighbors have started putting up their decorations and lights, the asking has turned into pleading and begging, guilt trips, and occasional threats. Getting ready for Christmas is a hassle, but the joy my children feel surrounding the preparation makes it worth it. Lilly and Rachel were beside themselves just watching Shelby get the Christmas boxes down from the attic. Especially Lilly, whose joy seeps out of every pore of her body.

If you ask Lilly what the best part of putting up the Christmas tree last night was, she will undoubtedly tell you it was finding the giant moth in one of the boxes. She was able to capture it in a Tupperware container and is planning on wrapping it and giving it to Elizabeth for Christmas.

Rachel had her 7-year checkup yesterday with Dr. Hanks. She is in perfect health, and Dr. Hanks was impressed to hear about her plans to train to become a super-hero. Rachel has a habit of pulling her eye lashes out. Dr. Hanks says it is pretty common, especially with intelligent children (I agree!) and gave us some tips on how to deal with it. Apparently it is a stress outlet for her. She doesn't necessarily do it in a stressful situation, but afterwards when she has time to let her brain relax. That beautiful child lives an internal life. She is not as outwardly social as Lilly, and therefore a little harder to understand and get to know initially. But what a delightful human being! I just hope everyone else in her little world gets to see how wonderful she is.

Carson, Carson, what to say about Carson? I cannot believe what a delightful, easy child he is. Kind, affectionate, easy-going, playful. What more could a mother ask? Well, I guess I could ask that he doesn't tackle me every time I sit, kneel, or lie on the floor. This is of course Carson's love language. He went to a birthday party with his friend Ian, and I guess during dinner at Red Robin he would alternate between playfully punching and hugging Ian's dad. I know I keep saying this, but he talks so well now. Yesterday he kept telling me that we forgot the "hate". I had no idea what he was talking about and eventually I gave up trying. A few moments later he said very slowly, "We forgot the CAKE!" Carson also alternates between telling me that he is "Big like mine daddy" when he wants to do a grown-up thing, and "I am still little!" when he wants to get out of doing something.



Still crying about the keyboard



So Emilia is pretty much walking all the time now. Much of the time she just walks for the sake of walking. Her new found talent has not made her any tougher. I don't think a thinner skinned child ever lived. Everything is heartbreaking. For example, just a moment ago she wept because she tried to give me an old dirty slobbery sticker and I said "No, thank you." Meanest mom ever, right? Now she is weeping because I won't let her touch the computer keyboard. Maybe with a first baby this would have been distressing, and I am not saying I love hearing her cry, but I can pretty well tune it out now.

Thanksgiving

I love my family. They are the five coolest, kindest, most beautiful people I know. This is most notable to me during the holidays when we all get to spend more time together. Usually we spend Thanksgiving with my side of the family, but this year we had the privilege of having my father-in-law in town for the holiday, so I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for him and my brother-in-law. What a fun day! A Thanksgiving meal is not easy to prepare. Add my neuroses that everything turn out perfectly, and it can make for a stressful day of cooking. I love it though. I love the stress, I love the planning, I love spending most of the day in the kitchen, but mostly I love the finished product when we all get to sit around the table and enjoy each other's company. Everything turned out great with the exception of a slightly undercooked turkey. But, hey what is Thanksgiving without a little salmonella?

The whole group Thankgiving morning

Being thankful is the best way to feel blessed, so here is my list of things I am thankful for. First my family, without whom I would be lost. They are my greatest accomplishment. I am thankful also for wonderful friends who would willingly drop anything to help me (and have). I am thankful for great parents who helped me become who I am, and awesome siblings who I consider my best friends. I am thankful for fantastic in-laws who not only think I am great, but tell me so frequently. I am thankful for a strong body that despite taking a lot of abuse, allows me to move and work freely. I am thankful for food. Mostly that we always have enough, but also that I get to enjoy the foods I love (there are so many!). I am thankful that I live in this country where I enjoy all the freedoms that I usually take for granted. I am thankful for a spacious home that is a little rough around the edges. I already said I am thankful for my family, but I want to give a special shout-out to my husband who is truly my better half. He works hard for our family. We are his purpose, his hobby, and his favorite thing. He loves his children, but more than that he loves me, including my flaws, my shortcomings, and my quirks (not the adorable ones, but the holy-cow-you-might-need-professional-help ones). I have an amazing life!



Rachel and me looking down from the top of Tablerock



OK enough sap. Now back to Thanksgiving day. In the morning I did a hike up Tablerock with my mom and dad, my sister Summer, and Rachel and Lilly. Rachel was very excited at the prospect of a hard hike because she thought it might help her in her training to become a Power Ranger. Lilly wanted to come because she does not like to be left out. Rachel spent more than half of the ascent running ahead of everyone, but petered out towards the end and I had to all but drag her to the top. Lilly on the other hand wasn't in any hurry, but she basically skipped her way to the top of the mountain. We explored the caves at the top for a while, where Lilly found about a dozen little green balls that she collected and shoved in her pockets. Rachel discovered broken glass from alcohol bottles. When we got back she explained in a whisper to her uncle Cody "People were drinking wine up there!" Per the green balls, when one would fall out of her pocket, Lilly would try to chase it down. On the descent, this started to look dangerous so we had to tell her if she lost one to just let it go. From there every time one would fall out she would start to chase it, stop and say, "Oh, yeah. That's OK." What a joy she is! I love that my big girls are getting old enough to do stuff like this.

On a Carson note, I have a couple of Boise State shirts now. I know I know, it only took my 10 years to succumb, but in my defense, they were given to me. Whenever I wear one Carson says, "You are a football-soccer mom!" I love the things he says. Maybe because I am still surprised that he talks so well now. This morning he noticed one of the chairs was broken and he stuck his finger in the air and said, "I have an idea! Daddy can come home and fix this chair!" He said it as though he had just discovered electricity. 

Lilly inside a Tablerock cave



Emilia is officially walking much of the time. She is becoming quite stable, and is really fun to watch. Her new-found skill makes her think she one of the big kids and wants to be wherever they are. This is great for me because she is much less attached. I used to be her main source of excitement. No hard feelings though. I am totally OK with it.

One final Rachel story. Last night she got out of bed because she just had to tell me something. She wanted to know if I had red, orange, and blue thread, and if I did, could I make her a Power Ranger and Spiderman outfit. Rachel apparently WAY over estimates my sewing abilities. Apparently she forgot it took me two years to sew her a simple quilt.

Halloween

Once again, life has gotten in the way of me blogging as much as I would like. There have been a few major events that are just waiting to be put down. Here we go!

Halloween was a success! I don't sew, I am not particularly crafty or creative, and I am cheap. At the same time it is important to me that my kids feel like they are as pretty, scary, silly, or cool as all the other kids on Halloween. This creates a great deal of anxiety for me. This year we borrowed an Esmeralda costume (Hunchback of Notre Dame) for Rachel, and a bumble bee costume that would have worked for Lilly or Carson from a neighbor. I talked Lilly into being a 50's girl since I already had a poodle skirt, and just assumed Carson would be ok with the bee costume. A couple of nights before Halloween he insisted that he wanted to be a t-rex. He insists on so very few things, and I wanted him to get his way, but there were no dinosaur costumes to be had, and no time or money to hunt one down. I talked him into being a bad guy, a costume that consisted of a brown smock, one of my scarves tied around his waist, a bandanna and some scary make-up. Lilly ended up with the bee costume after she informed me she didn't even know what a 50's girl is. Emmy dressed as a 50's girl, and everyone was happy. I was once again reminded how little my children need to feel satisfied. And the most important part to them was that they got candy anyway!

Emmy walking

Emmy finally took her first real steps on Halloween, which makes her my second child to do this (Lilly being the first). This would be more impressive if she weren't almost 16 months old. She still prefers crawling to walking. She does do this funny thing while I am exercising. She crawls over to me, stands up, and tries to mimic what I do. So, my baby won't walk, but she can do squats and burpees!

Rachel opening presents

Rachel had a birthday. My baby is seven years-old now! She asked for a Power Rangers cake which my neighbor was nice enough to make. For months she has been saying that for her birthday she wants to go to Big Al's Arcade with her dad. We let her choose two friends to go with her. She picked Livvy and her cousin Brady. I think it was a success since she was all-smiles when she came back. They decided to watch The Princess Bride after the Big Al's adventure. Lilly watched too, and all was fine until the scene where Buttercup and Wesley are attacked by the rodent of unusual size. When Wesley kills the giant, disgusting, man-eating rat, Lilly refused to watch another second of the movie, out of concern for animals everywhere. So they all made up a play for me instead. Rachel has learned from me. She spent the entire month leading up to her birthday using the "it's almost my birthday"card. "Mom, can I stay up since it's almost my birthday?" "Can I have the biggest pancake since it's almost my birthday?" "Can someone spend the night since it's almost my birthday?" The day after her birthday she asked if she could stay up late since "it was just my birthday?" That one got a roar of a laugh from me, and put an end to the month of entitlement.

Lilly's best friend got a new bike for her birthday. Lilly was bitterly jealous, which is uncharacteristic of her. She wept and cried because she doesn't have such a cool bike. I understood her disappointment, but I was not very accommodating to the huge fit she was throwing. It seemed ungrateful. Ok, I am warning you that what I am about to tell you does not show me in my best light, and was admittedly a mother-fail on my part. I told Lilly there are children in the world who don't even get to eat, let alone have a bike. And since she has both food and a bike she should stop complaining. She did not believe that there were really children in the world with no food, so I pulled up some images of starving children in Africa. It turns out a white child in America cannot relate at any level to the images I showed her. To her, these children did not look like children, they just looked scary. She wept even harder as she asked me the following three questions "Why did you show me those?" "Why are their bones sticking out of their skin?" and "Why are they green?" It was a devastating hour for both of us.

My kids playing outside AND getting along. My two favorite things! By the way, they are pretending they are in jail, and I put them there.

So we have been working with Carson on saying words right. He gets lazy and starts every word with an "h" sound. So "fire" is "hire" and "sandwich" is "hamwich". He has gotten much better about enunciating. His new thing is that the lines on the laminate floor in the kitchen are fire. So anytime I am cooking or doing dishes he comes in and articulates very slowly and firmly "I said to you this is FIRE!" I tried telling him that I am wearing fire-proof shoes, but he always says "no" in a tone that is similar to "duh". Aside from the fire thing, nothing really gets him riled up. Rachel karate kicked him the other day because he distracted her while she was playing an electronic game. Consequently, we took away her little game thing for a while. She was devastated. Even though Carson was the victim, he hugged her and patted her on the back to try and comfort her. He is such a nice, easy-going kid. I like him so much!

Having Babies

I am about to relate a story that makes me glad so very few people read my blog. I feel like it is an important story for posterity's sake, but be forewarned that involves the word "vagina" and concerns the process through which babies are born. Consider yourself warned...

Lilly asked me last week if Emmy was going to have a baby someday. I told her she probably would, but not for a long time. There was a pause, then Lilly asked "am I going to have a baby someday?" I didn't want to pressure her so I told her she could if she wanted to. She said "I don't want to...does the doctor take the baby out of your tummy?" This caught me off-guard. I quickly contemplated the effects of telling my 5-year-old how babies are born and decided honesty was best. "Sometimes the doctor takes the baby out of your tummy but usually the baby comes out of your vagina." Lilly got a panicked look on her face and decisively said "I don't want to have a baby."

Speaking of great parenting, I took Rachel and Lilly to see Avengers a couple of weekends ago. First of all, they both asked questions throughout the whole movie. I finally had to tell them no more questions because I was afraid we were being a distraction. After the Avengers save the world, Samuel Jackson's character tells the counsel that the Avengers are taking a deserved break. Rachel leaned over to me and said, "When Power Rangers save the world, they take a deserved break too!" On the subject of Avengers and Rachel, she got me in serious trouble. I told her my favorite character was Hawkeye, but she misunderstood. When discussing the movie with Shelby she told him her and Lilly's favorite Avenger was the Hulk, and my favorite character was "the Hot Guy".



Carson's hair cut (and muscles)



Carson cut his hair by himself. Short. And just in the front. Luckily we were taking him to get his hair cut by my neighbor the next day. I usually keep it a little long on top and short on the sides, but because of his first hair cut we had to buzz the whole thing. His little friend Ian has a similar hair cut, so while she was cutting, she said "Do you want your hair cut like Ian's?" When it was over, and he looked in the mirror he was devastated. He cried and said "I don't want to look like Ian!" By the time we got home he was fine, but the minute we walked through the door he ran into the bathroom to have another look. He started crying again and told me "I didn't want to look like Ian, I wanted to look like ME!" For the record, he looks really cute with his hair so short. I am posting a picture, but I should note when I asked him if I could take a picture of his hair he said "no". So I asked him if I could take a picture of his muscles, hence the pose.



My poor sick little baby



Emmy is sick. She has a typical winter cold, but because of her little heart it always worries me more when she is sick than it does when my other kids don't feel good. Let me just say, she is not a trooper when it comes to physical ailments. Everything is devastating to her. I guess this is how I feel when I am sick as well. Part of me likes it when my kids are sick. They are more cuddly, and it brings out my nurturing side.

One more Lilly story to end on. She went fishing with Shelby, Rachel, and Cody on Saturday. If you have been following my blog at all you can probably guess how this story is going to play out. When Lilly agreed to go, she did not realize what was involved in fishing. She caught the first fish and when Shelby asked her if she wanted to keep it or let it go she said "keep it!" Then Shelby explained that it wasn't being kept as a pet, and if they kept it we would eat it. She decided to let it go. This all would have been fine except Rachel also caught fish. And Rachel has no moral qualms about killing fish, so she decided to keep hers. The minute they got home from fishing Lilly went down to her room to weep for animals everywhere. It really is a sad thing to witness. I want her to hold onto this tenderness she possesses, but at this rate she is going to spend her life lamenting the pain of animals everywhere.

Picture Day!



Lilly's picture day outfit of choice, minus the butterfly shirt



The night before picture day, I sent the girls down to pick out their very cutest outfit. "Remember, this is for pictures so it has to be super cute" were my only instructions. Of course I should have been more clear. I guess I forgot I was not talking to adults. Rachel came up with a skirt and a cute, albeit forgettable top. Lilly brought up a leotard, a butterfly shirt, and a pair of underwear. When I broke the news to her that the leotard would not work for school she argued that it would be fine because she was going to wear underwear with it. After a hilarious few moments of debate in which Shelby and I tried to suppress our laughter, it was decided that I get to pick the school picture outfit. Much to Lilly's absolute horror, I chose a pair of jeans and a simple pink t-shirt. She was beside herself. According to her, the outfit was boring because it didn't even have butterflies on it.

On the topic of butterflies, Lilly is obsessed. I said in a previous post that she is my morning girl. I would like to add that she is my morning girl only if she is allowed to wear something with butterflies on it. She will settle for something extra frilly if no butterfly clothing is available. Today she wore pink pants with lace trim on the hem, a blue skirt, and her new brown t-shirt. She looked like a birthday cake gone awry. I made the decision to sacrifice fashion for a more peaceful morning. But back to the butterflies. Last week, Shelby sent Lilly out to pick up some toys in the back yard. She went willingly, but was gone forever and kept coming back empty-handed. Shelby would ask, "what about the toys?" And she would happily go back out to get them. Watching her from the back door, we laughed as she would run out to pick something up, get sidetracked by a fluttery thing, and then go chasing after butterflies. Occasionally we would call out the back door to remind her about the toys. She would say "Oh, yeah..." and refocus for a moment, until she would see some other fluttering thing. She also likes moths because "they are almost like butterflies." Her grandpa says she is going to be a flower child when she grows up.

Carson is such a boy. Last week we were walking home from the neighbor's house when we saw our garbage truck. Carson was mesmerized.  We walked behind it for several houses, watching them dump and smash the garbage. I thought Carson's interest was adorable, but the garbage men did not seem amused. They must get a lot of little boys following behind them. This morning, our neighbors were pouring a concrete driveway. Once again, Carson was totally fascinated. He wanted me to go out with him so he could watch the cement truck. We sat and watched as long as I could stand it (I don't find trucks or concrete the least bit interesting).

One other cute Carson story. He has a little friend named Ian. A couple of days ago Carson asked Ian if he wanted to sit on his lap. Without hesitation Ian told him no. Carson looked shocked for a moment, then said "But I washed my hands!"

As challenging as Emilia can be, she sure has her own fan club. All she has to do is look like she wants something, and everyone in her little world comes running in an attempt to appease her. And heaven forbid she should not get what she wants. That girl can throw a tantrum! I am unamused by these little fits of hers, but her aunt Merry thinks they are adorable. She was visiting the other day, and every time Emilia even looked like she was going to start crying, Merry would say something akin to "You are so cute! Want to come home with me and be my baby?"

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel...I am afraid she might be getting past the whole saying-cute-things phase. She is starting to seriously grow up. When I asked her a question the other day she actually responded with "because that's how I roll." What?

Kid-Speak and Other Things

A couple of weeks ago Lilly had Elizabeth over to play. When her mom came to get her we chatted for a while before rounding the kids up. We knew the girls were playing outside, and after about ten minutes we heard the basement door open and the girls come in. A moment later, one of our neighbors from down the road came by and said he had seen two little girls walking towards the road. When they saw him, they both stopped dead in their tracks and then turned around and came home. We discussed this with the girls who told us they were planning to walk to the store (three miles away) to buy me a surprise (using a silver dollar they had snatched from my jewelry box). The reason they came home when they saw the neighbor was because they thought he might be a bad guy. Let's just say they both had a stern talking to.

Rachel hates getting up in the morning. It doesn't help that she has such a hard time getting to sleep at night. Every morning she fights me on getting up, then pouts and whines the whole time she is getting ready for school. We had a particularly bad morning last week that was made worse when I told Rachel she would have to eat hot lunch that day. When the bus stopped to pick her and Lilly up she refused to get on. How do you physically force a six-year-old to walk the steps to get on the bus, without making a horrible scene? Finally I picked her up and softly whispered in her ear, "If you do not get on that bus, I will ground you for three weeks." Admittedly, not my strongest moment as a mother. She was still crying, but reluctantly got on the bus. Here is the great part. The bus driver gave her a big hug. Then, the woman who helps with the little kids on the bus gave her a big hug, and both women cheerfully told me not to worry, and that they would take care of her. This is just a little shout-out to those overlooked employees of the school system who make it easier for me to send my kids into the world. I still worried all day, feeling really bad I had said good-bye to her on a bad note. But she came home cheerful and happy. The bus driver said she did great.

If Rachel is the world's worst morning person, Lilly is the greatest. That girl gets out of bed up and running. She is happy, helpful, cheerful, and cooperative. It almost makes me sorry to see her go. Maybe she senses that I have enough trouble with Rachel, and she doesn't want to add to my difficulties. As my neighbor Amber says, Lilly will have an easy time in life, thanks to her cheeful disposition.

I took Carson to his 3-year checkup last week. I know, I know, the kid is closer to four now than to three. What prompted me to bring him in is a mysterious hair-loss issue. He keeps losing his hair in patches. That, in combination with his small size, and the fact that the kid won't eat, had me concerned. The good news is, his size is fine. Dr. Hanks says he is pretty normal, being in the 25th percentile. He didn't seem overly concerned about the hair loss, but we will do some tests for him. The traumatic part of the check-up was of course the shots. When the nurse came in, he knew something was up. I don't think he knew exactly what was about to happen, but he knew it wasn't good. He kept screaming "I don't want to!" After it was over, he told me "I didn't want that!" Shelby has never ever seen one of our children get shots. I think next time he should take a turn.

Emilia has got life figured out. Any time one of the kids gets anywhere near her, she screeches. It is sort of a preemptive strike kind of thing. It has become a real problem with Carson. He wants to love her so much, but every time he makes her scream I get upset with him. He always looks bewildered and says "I was just hugging her!" Shelby says we should put all four of the kids in a room together, leave Rachel in charge of Emmy's overall physical safety, and let her get used to being played with without anyone coming to the rescue.

A few kid-speaks:

Rachel: It is my fault Daddy is out of deodorant. I put one sip on this arm, and two sips on this arm.
Lilly (to Elizabeth at a cousin outing): This is my cousin Lidia. She is hugful.
Rachel and Lilly: Can I have another scoop of milk?
Carson (on how he feels when I lip sync and dance): Mom! I don't want to play that game!
Lilly refers to one item of clothing (say a shirt) as "a cloe", as in the singular form of "clothes".

Bike Riding

On Wednesday I decided it was time for Rachel to lose the training wheels on her bike. The motivation for this decision was my neighbor's three-year-old who rides her bike to the bus stop without training wheels. If a three-year-old can do it, I figure Rachel has a fighting chance. She proved to be an eager student. It only took about 10 minutes of my helping her for her to gather enough skills to go it on her own. Ever since then, I cannot keep her off the thing. She asked me yesterday if I would be willing to bring her bike to the school so she could ride it home. Considering that is an eight-mile bike ride, I opted not to. Overall, first grade has made my little girl grow right up. You should hear her read! I think she likes school, but when she comes home she always says something akin to "I am so glad I'm home!" There is no better compliment to me in the whole world than that!

Emilia now uses my title appropriately. Instead of referring to all of us as "dad" I now get to hear "mom! Mom! Mom!" in regular intervals throughout the day. Still Emmy's heart belongs to Shelby. If he leaves before she wakes up in the morning, she sits at the stairs and says "Dad!" over and over as she waves. I can't tell if she is trying to bring him home, or wave good-bye.

You have never met a child as good at making friends as Lilly. Every day she comes home from school and says "I made a new friend!" I tell her that is great and ask the friend's name, even though I already know she is going to say she doesn't know. Yesterday she said she made a new friend, but before I could ask her name Lilly said "I don't know her name but she says I can call her whatever I want. So I call her Kailee!"

Up until now, Carson has been very gentle with Emilia. I think it has recently occurred to him that she is no longer fragil. He still isn't exactly mean, but he does use her as a form of entertainment now. Like if she is trying to crawl around he will hold onto one of her legs so she can't. Or if she is playing with something, he will take it away and watch for her response. I suppose this is all pretty typical. And I don't blame Carson. He is a product of his environment. Around here, older kids work hard to make the younger ones squeal. He is just doing what he has been taught! It is obvious he loves her. He does not like to see her outright crying, and he will still crawl up to her and give her a little kiss and then scamper away.

One funny story for the road. Shelby spent Labor Day pressure-washing the deck. He asked if I could keep the kids off the deck on Tuesday so it would stay clean and he could come home and stain it. Lilly asked if she could go outside. I told her it was fine but to go through the garage and stay off the deck. She asked me why she couldn't be on the deck and I said "Daddy wants to keep it clean so he can come home and stain it." Lilly thought for a moment and said "If dad is going to stain the deck, then why do we have to keep it clean?"

My Commitment

So the week after I made a commitment to be more faithful with my blog-writing, my computer monitor died. Here I am anyway using Shelby's work computer to post this week's entry. See how dedicated I am?

We made it through the first week of school relatively intact. There is a small busing issue that I am not pleased about. In order to save money, Silver Trail has doubled up with the high school for transportation. The result is a 6:50 pick-up time for my FIVE AND SIX YEAR-OLD! We live eight miles from the school so driving them myself is not an affordable option. No worries though, I have already raised a stink and apparently I am not alone in my concerns. Hopefully it will be peacefully resolved. Of course, that is up to them.

Lilly has every-other-day, all-day kindergarten, a so today was only her third day of school. Not surprisingly, she is a whole different student than Rachel. Every school day with Rachel last year I would get mountains of worksheets, newsletters, and various other little things. With the exception of the first day, I have yet to see a single shred of evidence that Lilly does anything in kindergarten at all. I ask her how her day was, and she seems unsure. I ask her what she did all day and she tells me "I don't know." If you do not know Lilly like I do, you may assume she has a dud for a teacher. But I know my little girl and she is a space cadet. I would not be surprised if she has a stack of papers in her take-home folder (which I also have yet to see, even though I was told it exists) that she keeps forgetting to bring home. I would be more upset and concerned about her spaciness except I can only blame myself. That girl got a strong dose of my genes, I'm afraid. One thing she has that I do not is a great fashion sense. On the second day of school Lilly had a specific outfit in mind. She wanted to wear her new striped shirt (I'm talking bold colors here. The kind of shirt that will cause seizures if you look at it too long) along with black leggings and a blue floral skirt. I tried to talk her out of it but she insisted. I decided that my motives for wanting her to change were vain and self-serving, so I begrudgingly gave in. She put the outfit on the next morning, and you would not believe how cute it was! Probably wouldn't win any fashion awards, but the outfit really did work.

Sending my kids off in the world is emotionally upsetting to me. Every time I send them on that bus I lose control of their well-being. Don't get me wrong, they have fabulous adults out there to help them through the day. But those adults have the best interest of the students as a whole in mind. I don't care a lick about the other students. My number one concern are my precious girls. Rachel came home upset on the second day of school. With much prodding she finally told me her problem. There is a strict rule about pushing in chairs in her class, and when she got up to get a drink, she forgot to push hers in. She said when she came back it was gone. When she asked her teacher, she was told it must have run away. She felt embarrassed, and was heartbroken. I had to suppress my anger long enough to come to the conclusion that the teacher had her reasons, and was not out to get my girl. Rachel was totally over it by the next day, and loves her teacher to death. So no real tragedy here, but it has put me on guard with both my girls.

I have had two full days where it has only been Carson, Emmy, and me at home. Emmy sleeps much of the time, and does not say much. The result is a feeling of a lot of one-on-one time with Carson. I have loved it! Carson and I never ever ever get to spend time together just the two of us. I will say he has a much stronger personality when his sisters are not here. He actually has an opinion on things, and he makes that opinion known! I love it though. One opinionated three-year-old is still easier than two opinionated big girls, an easy-going little boy, and a VERY opinionated one-year-old. While I am loving the time together, I think Carson has been a little bored. On Monday he headed for the bus stop without me about three hours too early. I asked him where he was going and he said very firmly "To get Rachel and Lilly." It was all I could do to convince him to wait. Today while we were running errands, his mood changed noticeably. He became much more subdued as he crossed his arms and dropped his head. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I miss Rachel and Lilly." So sad!

Emilia has got to be my worst traveler so far. I cannot get in the car with her without hearing her pterodactyl screech. I thought moving her to a forward facing seat would help keep her brain occupied. All it has done is helped her create eye contact with everyone while she complains. Still I love her. She voluntarily gives me kisses all the time, which makes my whole world go around. She is just learning how to go down the stairs. It is inevitable that every baby will fall at least once when mastering this fete. Emmy's fall was yesterday. Remember, the bottom of our stairs is a stone landing. She was of course upset. I trotted down and brushed her off, and cuddled her a little and the whole thing was over. Now contrast that with the time Rachel rolled off the couch onto a soft carpeted floor when she was a baby. I was sure I had given her brain-damage. Luckily I was on the phone with a veteran mother at the time who told me she was probably just fine. I went ahead and forewent the 911 call, but I was shaky and panicked. I spend the rest of the day watching for signs of a concussion. First babies, you know.

First Day of School!

I have not blogged since July 6th? For the one or two people who read this blog faithfully I apologize. As I have said in the last couple of posts, we have been having way too much summer fun! Laundry has piled up, the house is in need of some serious tlc, and we have all been going to bed far too late and sleeping in way too long. Sadly summer fun is no more as of yesterday. Rachel started first grade yesterday, and my little Lilly began her first day of kindergarten this morning. Kuna school district, the fate of my little children is now in your hands. At least Monday through Friday from 8am until 2:30. Treat them well, they are special little beings!

I only get slightly choked up when I think about Lilly going off into the world where I cannot protect her, but despite the absence of tears, I am emotionally affected. Last night I had a dream that I sent my three oldest children to Disneyland with a large group of strangers. It didn't occur to me that it was a bad idea until they were already gone. When they got back I asked if everyone was nice to them and they told me no. The deeper meaning is not hard to see.

You have never met two children who were this excited to start school. Lilly was visibly giddy. She is a giggly thing anyway, but last night after Shelby took her to buy a new Dora the Explorer backpack she came back beside herself. She had a hard time settling down for bed, but got up this morning very willingly and got ready in record time.

As is Rachel's nature, her excitement was a bit more subtle. When asked if she is excited for first grade, her eyes light up and she does her trademark coy smile and answers with a quiet "yes". Her teacher told her on back-to-school night that her only homework was to get a good night's sleep. Rachel obeyed and was out by eight. This never happens in Rachel's world. She is a night owl who likes to sleep in. Since her bus picks her up at the unreasonable hour of 6:50, hopefully she will be able to make a habit of going to sleep early.

Carson is quite enjoying this day without his sisters. Emilia is asleep, so he and I have the rare treat of being each other's sole companions. Still, it was almost ten o'clock before he realized the girls were missing. He asked were they were, and was not at all upset when I told them they would be gone for the day.

As sad as I am to see summer fun end, and as much as I dread having to once again wake up before the crack of dawn, it has been apparent over these past few weeks how very restless we were all becoming. There have been a lot of little fights, and even a few knock-down drag-outs. Most of the fights involved Rachel "just playing" with Carson or Lilly, who would in turn screech and squeal and cry, since neither of them thought of Rachel's man-handling as playing. As my tolerance waned, I found myself sending them downstairs to watch movies way more than I should have. This all made it easier to send them back to school.

For the record, Emmy had her 12-month check-up a couple of weeks ago. Yes it is true, my little baby is now a 1-year-old! The doctor says everything looks good, although she is excessively small. She weighed in at 17lbs, which puts her once again in the 1st percentile. No worries though. Dr. Hanks is unconcerned, and so am I. The kid eats like crazy, and is very happy and healthy. She can now say mom (although she almost never does), dad (her favorite word), uh-oh, and I swear she occasionally says "cat". She also has "tricks" that she will do, but not usually on command. She gives big slobbery kisses, waves, and claps. But my favorite thing is when she dances. I am always amazed at how innate the need to move to music is, and how young babies are when they start grooving to the beat.

It's Been A Long Time!



Cousin Camp



Well I totally gave up on blogging during the first part of the summer. We were having way too much summer fun to be bothered with responsibilities. It is time however, to get back into it. There has been so much happening these past few weeks that I am worried I have forgotten much of it. Let's see how we do.

Before I forget, we had a family summer weeding day on Tuesday. We insisted everyone help, much to Rachel's chagrin. Finally, after a little complaining she found her niche in telling Lilly what weeds to pull next. Both seemed to be enjoying this arrangement and we were all working harmoniously until Shelby said, "Rachel when you grow up I think you will be a supervisor." Rachel asked "What's a supervisor?" Shelby said, "It is someone who is in charge." Shortly after this, Rachel climbed up high on our garden fence and started shouting orders to all of us. I think we unleashed a monster!

Carson and Rachel have this little back and forth game they play where Carson taunts Rachel until she goes after him. Then he screams and cries when he gets caught. Well during one of these games, Carson poked Rachel with a fork on her hand. She was fine, but her heart was broken. I thought time-out was an appropriate punishment. Carson was less than happy about it because in his mind Rachel got what she deserved (he was probably right). Once time-out was over I made him apologize. Now remember, Carson has just started speaking fluently within the last few months. He very sternly looked at Rachel and said "Sorry poopy-head." I had to excuse myself for a few minutes before I could give him a lecture on how this was not an appropriate apology. Despite my efforts to hide it, he knew I was laughing so the whole thing became a joke to all of us. Except Rachel, who was still licking her literal and figurative wounds.

Neither Rachel or Lilly will let me put their hair in pigtails anymore. They say it is for babies. My heart is broken. Sometimes I beg them to let me do it, but they almost never give in. Rachel is uninterested in cartoons anymore and only wants to watch the Disney Channel with all the teenage shows on it. Maybe I am a mean mom, but I don't let her. I understand her desire to be a big kid, but I can see the little girl in her slipping away and it makes me sad. I don't want to rush it!

Lilly is a little human garbage disposal! She wants to eat all the time. I am not sure where she puts her massive amounts of food. She is such a tiny little thing! She told me on Wednesday that she was "freezing hungry". I asked her what that meant and she said "not freezing cold, just freezing hungry!"



Lilly's Birthday Party. From left to right: Lilly, Allison Millward,
Zylia, Rachel, Carson, Elizabeth Lackey



You know Lilly turned 5 last week. She had a decidedly great day. We had swim lessons in the morning. Afterwards I took her to McDonald's with Rachel and Elizabeth and I let her have a whole happy meal, as opposed to the burger (no meat) and water she usually gets. After that she got to have a small birthday party with 3 of her friends. She chose Elizabeth, Allison, and Zelya. "No boys" she told me, most decidedly. In the evening we had hot dogs for dinner and cake for dessert. I bought Lilly vegetarian hot dogs because she has given up on eating regular hot dogs. In case anyone is keeping track, that means absolutely no meat for Lilly. She didn't like the Veggie Dogs, and I don't blame her. They were yucky. Uncle Cody built a fire that night and pitched a tent. The kids and him roasted marshmallows and pretended to be camping. That is until bedtime. Then mom and dad felt it would be better for everyone if the kids slept in their own beds.



Emilia and Jude at Lidia's birthday party



Just a word about Emilia. She is delightful and talkative. I am almost positive she told me she loved me the other day. I can get her to mimic most sounds and some basic baby words. I think she will be an early talker. She is very very very sensitive to stimuli. Any little knock or bump sets her off crying, which is a problem in this house since knocks and bumps are how we roll. She likes to be either held by an adult, or left completely alone to explore without being approached by a child.

Ok now that business is taken care of , about our summer fun. So far we have swam and swam and swam. The library has been hit and miss, depending on whether we feel done with our previous books. For our field trips, we have visited the sand dunes (my favorite), Sandy Point (which the kids loved), and we attempted Birds Of Prey. BOP didn't work out because I was confused. So we ended up hiking and having lunch at the park instead. We will try again next week. I also took the kids to their first ever bowling trip.  Considering it was me, three small children, and one baby I think that one went pretty well. And last week my sister Summer organized a two-day fifties-themed cousin camp, also a huge success. Next week we are hiking in Idaho City. Laundry has been on the back burner, and my house will not win any awards for cleanliness. Sleep has been a matter of convenience. But we have been having fun, fun, fun!



Carson and Mom at sand dunes



Lilly, Rachel, Mom at sand dunes



Summertime

We had our first official summertime outing yesterday. Monday is library day, so we packed everyone up and headed out. I let each kid pick out two books, and then each week they take turns choosing a movie to take home. This is actually our third Monday in a row that we have hit the library, and I have to say so far it has been pretty smooth. I let the kids choose their books first, then they sit on the bean bags and read while I get my book. The only snag is when they all decide they have to go to the bathroom (which so far has been every time we go). The bathroom at the Nampa library is teeny tiny. Fitting four kids and a stroller in that little space is tricky, but we survive. After the library we went to Fruitland to hang out with cousins. In an attempt to keep life simple, we ate sandwiches for dinner. It was a wonderful day! Tuesdays are usually swimming days but it is only supposed to be 60 degrees today so we are bowling instead.

Oh, so the reason for the 60 degree weather is the horrible storm that passed through our area last night. I have never seen wind like that here. Of course our power went out right at bed time. All three of my older kids are scared of the dark (not to mention their mom a little bit). We let them "sleep" together, but it was after 10 before any of them wound down for the night. At one point I could hear them giggling downstairs, and I hollered at them to come upstairs so I could scold them. When I asked them what they were doing they said "We are making funny shadows on the wall." Well what kind of mom can yell at their kids for something like that? I am always telling them to get along, so I chose to embrace the evening where they did just that.

We keep losing broccoli and cabbage plants from our garden and have recently discovered that the culprit is gophers. Shelby was outside analyzing the problem with Lilly. Later when she came in she said "Mom, can gophers talk?" Not sure where this conversation was headed I said warily, "I don't think so....why do you ask?" Lilly said "If gophers can't talk, how is Dad going to teach them a lesson?" Given her feelings on animal cruelty, I have opted not to tell her how Dad is going to teach them a lesson.

So as of this morning, Emilia is officially crawling. She still seems a little hesitant, but there is definitely forward motion. Initially I was excited, but then I started thinking about the stairs and the cat food and the toilet, and all the other hazards/messes she is going to get into now that she is Mobile. Still, the girl is 10-months old. It was bound to happen eventually, and I had nearly a year of very little movement.

Where do kids learn "neener neener neener"? Certainly not from their parents. It is almost like an innate sound that every kid has in them. Carson has been doing this a lot lately, but he is still trying to get it right. Instead of his thumbs in his ears, he sticks his pointer fingers in and then says "Mo-om! Nee nee nee!" I hate to correct him because it is so stinking cute. It reminds me of when Lilly used to say "togwether" instead of together. Rachel taught her the right way to say it and I was so bummed.

Lilly keeps asking me who I love more, her or Jesus. Now you tell me, what would you say? Rachel has asked a few times, "Mom, which of your kids do you love most?" Then she sticks her hand out, palm facing me, and says "You can't say 'all of them.' You can't say that!" On the same subject, as I said before fairness is a big deal to my kids. So anytime it looks like one kid gets favored, I am questioned. For example "Why does Carson get the first one?" Or, "How come Lilly gets more than me?"I always say "Because I love him/her the most." I get some funny looks from people out in public for that one.

Bonfire

We woke up to our chicken coup ablaze last week around 4:30am. This is the coup where we keep the baby chicks not ready to transition to the big hen house. You know, the coup right by our bedroom window. I heard the chicks chirping wildly as I was in and out of sleep. When their chirping began to sound panicky I looked outside our bedroom window to see a light not quite like the sunrise. It only took a moment to realize it was a roaring fire. I have to tell you, in theory I do not do well with emergencies. I am easily rattled by the idea that harm might come to me or my family. But in the face of my first really dangerous situation I did great! The first thing I did was wake Shelby up. Next I ran outside to let the chicks out. In retrospect I should have gotten my kids away from that side of the house first, but it hadn't occurred to me that the fire might have reached the house as well by then. The chicks were huddled in the coolest part of the gated area outside the coup and I could not get them to exit. I finally pulled the fence up where they were and they escaped unharmed. Then I ran in to gather my kids just in case the fire spread to the house. Shelby in the mean time did the thing that never even crossed my mind. He worked on putting out the fire with the garden hose. Once my kids were safe I asked if we should call 911, but he assured me the flames were under control. My guy is such a man. We decided that between my instinct to save all living things, and his instinct to fight the danger we make a pretty good pair. Amazingly I was able to get back to sleep once there was no immediate threat. Shelby was not so lucky. He spent the rest of the night wide awake and keeping guard.

Carson poops pretty much exclusively in the toilet now. I know this is not the thing most people want to read about but it is big news to us. That means in the potty training department I have 3 down and one to go! In other Carson related news, I sent him to wash up for bed last night and then I got distracted with something else. Several minutes later, once there was peace and quiet upstairs, I heard the bathroom water running. When I went in, Carson was covered in bright pink lipstick (I have to say, not my lipstick. It belongs to the girls). He had it all over his face and hands. When I asked him what he was doing he said "Umm, washing mine hands." This morning he still has a smeary ring of pink lipstick all around his mouth. Luckily he is secure in his masculinity.

One of the hardest things about being a mom is dealing with fairness. My sense of equality is constantly under scrutiny. If I tell Carson I love him in front of Lilly, she insistsI tell her I love her too. While tucking in the girls, I do not hear the end of it if I spend more time with one than the other. This is an aspect of parenting I did not anticipate. For a few months now my response to questions like "Why did Rachel get the first one?" or "How come Carson got more than me?" is always "Because I love him/her more than you." That response has mostly lost its shock value at this point.

I am so excited for summer I can hardly stand it! I have scheduled out our summer fun on our calendar, but not in an attempt to be super type A (which I am not). Rather it is my way of making it a priority. Otherwise doctor appointments and other things will get in the way. So here it is in a nutshell. Mondays is library day, which will take place promptly after boot camp. Tuesdays is swimming day. If the weather does not permit, we will go bowling instead. I signed the kids up for a free bowling program this summer. On Wednesday we will do a craft. For those of you who may not be aware, I am not super crafty so this one scares me a little. I figure we can always paint rocks if nothing else. Thursday is field trip day, and I have a whole list of places to take them. Friday is free day because I think we will all be ready to chill by the end of the week. I am so excited!

P.S. I have photos but the computer is not cooperating. Stay tuned!

California

My grandfather's 95th birthday party was in California last weekend and I wanted to attend. After much consideration it was decided that I would take Emilia and drive there with my parents while Shelby stayed home with the other kids. We left bright and early Friday morning. When I went to wake Emilia up I was overwhelmed by a horrible stench coming from her crib. Initially I thought she had pooped but upon further inspection I realized she had thrown-up in the night and then slept in it all night. As a side note, I will never understand how kids can throw up in their sleep, roll over and continue to snooze in a pile of their own vomit. Anyway it was a rough start to a very rough 13 hour drive. My kids have all been good travellers as babies to varying degrees. Rachel was the best. She could be in a car for hours and we would not hear a peep. Emilia has a very poor track record so far. I thought having me sit by her would help but it only made her mad. She probably thought I was being a jerk for just sitting there instead of getting her out of her car seat. During the course of the car ride she threw up once, had one blow out diarrhea diaper, let out periodic high pitch screeches (I am talking frequent blood-curdling screams), and cried for the last solid 2 hours of the car ride. My dad's cousin Fay rode with us and apparently nobody told her we were bringing a baby. She said when she got in the car that she loves babies, but I wonder if by the end she changed her mind. The rest of the trip Emilia was pretty good, and I was happy to have a child with me. It helped me miss the others less. The ride home was significantly more peaceful, probably because by then she was feeling much better.

While I was gone the kids were great for Shelby. Part of me was hoping they would make things a little difficult for him as to evoke some feelings of appreciation for what I do all day. Carson apparently pooped only in the toilet the whole time, something he had rarely done up to that point. The girls were nice and well-behaved, and they all had fun together. The minute I got back Carson regressed to strictly pooping in his pants again. Usually when I return from a trip my kids all try to be difficult, maybe to punish me for leaving? The day after I got back was a perfect mother day. The kind that makes me just love my life. Shelby left me with a pretty clean house, so I did not have much house work to do. The weather was nice, and other than the pooping thing, all the kids were pleasant. I wish every day was that good!

I asked Lilly to get me the mail the other day. She went to the mailbox without her shoes and ended up with three giant slivers. She wanted more than anything to leave them in her foot for life, but they had to come out. Getting them out was an all day traumatic process for both of us. Every time I touched her foot she would scream that it hurt and pull away. So we made a deal. She promised she would hold still if I promised not to use a skeedle (needle). We tried tweezers and fingernails, but Lilly was not keeping her end of the bargain. She would not let me anywhere near the slivers before she kicked and screamed and wiggled away. I gave her periodic breaks but it did not help. Finally in desperation I grabbed a needle, held her down and removed the first sliver. I am sure my neighbors considered calling child protective services, such were the screams. After the first sliver she asked me if we could just please talk about it. I sat her on my lap and she told me through her tears how if she had only been wearing shoes none of this would have happened, and how there wasn't even any mail in the mailbox, and could we please just leave the slivers in. By the end of the conversation we were both crying. But the slivers had to come out. So I held her down and removed the last two slivers while trying to tune out her screaming.

Emilia had an appointment with her cardiologist yesterday. I wasn't sure I would make it back in time to get Rachel from the bus, so I left Lilly and Carson with Amber and on a whim, picked Rachel up from school early so she could come with me. I wanted to spend some time with her and thought it would make her feel special. Now that she is getting older it is fun to talk to her about more grown-up stuff. Of course she is still mostly child. She has been talking about getting a magic wand for a few weeks. She even prays for it, but to no avail. In the car yesterday she told me she was just going to get a magic horse instead. That way her magic horse can make her a magic wand. Sounds logical, right? I asked her if I could ever ride her magic horse and after thinking for a minute she said "I will just have my magic horse make you your own magic horse." the other conversation we had: "Rachel, what is your least favorite color?" Rachel answers a definite "Red." A little surprised I respond "Why red?" She tells me "All the bad guys are red. My least favorite number is four because it is everywhere and it freaks me out." I said "interesting" but in my mind I was thinking "Weird".

No Time

As you may have noticed my blog posts have become much less frequent in the last couple of months. The reason is simple. I am busy. We have a lot going on in our little world from day to day. The thing is, the busier I am, the more I have to blog about. It is difficult to remember everything but I will do my best.

I love listening to Carson talk. He puts so much emphasis in everything he says. For example he never greets me with a simple "Hello". It is always "(Gasp) Hiii mom!" Even if he saw me 5 minutes earlier in some other room. Other Carson-speak: "Ooh..Mom those are bit (big) mountains! We go to the mountains please?" My answer, "No we have to take Rachel to karate." His response, "Please! I promise, please!" Why "I promise" I don't know. He says it anytime he wants something that I say no to. It may have its roots in him watching me try and put the girls in time-out. They used to bargain with "Please mom, I promise I won't do it again!" Also Carson calls ear wax "ear poop". The other day he said "Mom, there's poop in mine ear!" In the car the other day Rachel asked if I like animals and I said I do. Carson said "I hate animals!" Now before you grow to be concerned remember he does not fully understand the word hate. And he loves animals. I said "Carson that isn't very nice." As if to try and justify his hate for animals he said "I don't hate you. And I don't hate Daddy. And I don't hate Lilly." Rachel interjected to find out if he hates her, which he says he doesn't. When I get after him for not doing something I asked him to do he says "mo-om I a-am!" Which he might as well add "duh" to the end of it.

Lilly is officially registered for kindergarten. Mostly I cannot believe it, yet at the same time it seems like she was born ready. At the screening she aced everything except cutting on a squiggly line. I'm not surprised since Rachel is the keeper of scissors at our house. She likes to be in charge and Lilly usually falls in line. Another notable Lilly thing is her rock collection. Wherever she goes Lilly is on the lookout for pretty rocks. Her favorite are the teeny tiny ones that only people 3 feet tall are close enough to the ground to see. She likes to give them to me as gifts. As a result her and I have perpetually gravel-filled pockets.

I thought I had nipped the whole swearing thing in the bud with Lilly, and I guess I had. Rachel blindsided me however when she couldn't figure out how to use the keyboard and said "What the hell?" I have really got to start tuning into what my kids are hearing.

Emilia had her 9 month checkup yesterday. The girl is an eater like you wouldn't believe, but apparently all that food is going straight to her long skinny legs. Emilia is in the first percentile for weight and the 100th percentile for height. That is a first for our kids. Usually we are on the bottom of the chart for both. Other than the constant blood curdling screaming she makes us all endure, she is doing great. The doctor says her heart sounds uninteresting. Fantastic!

I love my kids. Some days I like them more than others. Yesterday I had the stomach flu. The smart thing for a person to do in this situation is to throw a movie on to entertain the kids while she sleeps on the couch. But before I got sick I had already made a plan for the day, and I was determined to stick with it. Emilia had her doctors appointment, and since we are into conserving gas (at $3.75 a gallon, who isn't?), we were going to hit the grocery store right afterwards for some serious grocery shopping. Rachel was feeling green as well, so she was pretty much out of it. Lilly was so distraught by all the attention Rachel was getting for feeling sick that she claimed to be sick too. What came next was a series of over-emotional meltdowns at the slightest provocation on Lilly's part. Does anyone remember how old Carson is? That's right, he is three. Three-year-olds listen great. The first half of the shopping trip I made him sit in the cart much to his serious dismay. After watching him stand on my apples and scream "lemme out!" for the ninth time, I let him walk. Supposedly with the stipulation that he stays close to me. Did I mention that he is three? Oh and remember that doctor's appointment for Emilia? She got shots of course so she was not in the best of moods either. She did fine as long as I was standing right in front of her, but the minute we could not make direct eye contact she started in on the screaming. Probably they were not all that bad, but remember I had the stomach flu. Everything seemed about 10 times harder. I don't like to use this blog to unload, but I think my children should someday be able to look back at some of these posts and recognize the sacrifices I made for them...right?

Weird

So Carson talks now. He talks and talks, and says things he should not say. I was deep in conversation with my friend Stacee as he was trying to get my attention. Finally he took my face in his hands, stared straight into my eyes and said, "Mom, shut up." Lilly told me a wildly morbid story in the car the other day in which several people died. I said "Lilly, that's weird." Carson picked up on it, and now "that's weird" is his new catch phrase. At dinner last night he poured the last of the juice in his cup. I was disappointed because I wanted the last of the juice. But when I expressed my disappointment he said "No mom. You drink yours water." When we all giggled he looked around and said "That's weird." Of course that made us laugh even harder, which just made him mad. Another thing he has been saying is "I hate you." But before you judge, you need to understand where he got this from. Carson has horrible eczema, on top of already dry and scaly skin. I have been trying to keep lotion on him but he fights me every time. I was slathering him up the other day and he was crying and desperately trying to get away. Trying to express my sympathy I said, "Carson do you just hate this?" Ever since, when he is being teased by the girls he says very calmly "I hate you." It seems to be in attempt to express his feelings about being teased more than his feeling towards one of his sisters. Just the same, we are working with him on it.

Lilly's new favorite color is blue because it is her "Best Friend Elizabeth's" favorite color. She also stopped wearing underwear to bed for a while because her "Best Friend Elizabeth" does not wear underwear to bed. I put the kibosh on that one, but it illustrates the point that Lilly is following Elizabeth's lead. This seemed odd to me at first since Lilly does not strike me as a follow-the-crowd type of kid. But I don't think that is what this is. I think Lilly is incredibly empathetic by nature, and because of this she tries to find congruity with those around her. She wants to relate to everyone, and by adopting the habits and likes of those around her she can. Holy psychology moment! OK, it has passed. On a more light-hearted note, we have baby chicks. They are from Rachel's Kindergarten class. Mrs. Atkins did not have anything to do with them once the class was over, so we are taking them to raise as laying hens. Side note, I hate caring for living creatures that are not my children. It is hard enough to keep my own babies alive! I had nightmares all night about the chicks getting eaten. But back to Lilly. Last night she brought worms in from the garden for the chicks to eat. This is a huge step for Lilly-Who-Loves-All-Living-Things. Before she gave the worms to the chicks, I wanted her to be very clear that they would be eaten. She understood, and wanted to feed them anyway.

Melissa Millward told me that her daughter Allison told her that Rachel and Walker kissed! And if you cannot trust a 5-year-old when it comes to this sort of gossip, who can  you trust? I asked Rachel about it and she swears it never happened. She said all the other kids were telling them to kiss but they didn't. I believe her, but it got us to talking about her relationship with boys. Shelby told her she can't kiss until she is a teenager. I adamantly disagree. As far as I'm concerned she can kiss all she wants between now and her 10th birthday. But from ages 10-25, her lips are off-limits. I asked her if she still liked Walker and she said yes. She also told me Walker has another girlfriend. I asked her how she feels about that and without hesitation she said, "Good." She also said, "Sage is my other boyfriend, but don't tell him!" Apparently when you are 6, all you need to do in order to have a boyfriend is claim him silently.

Emilia is close to crawling, and she is so excited by it she can hardly contain herself. I am actually excited too. Not because I cherish the idea of having to chase her around keeping her from harm's way. More because maybe once she can crawl around she won't need me to make direct eye contact with her during every moment of her waking hours. She literally screams at me (screams, not cries) until I look at her, then she stares me down with her soul-piercing eyes until I look away. Then the screaming starts again. That is one spoiled baby. Part of me thinks I need to have another baby so she won't be spoiled. But if I follow that logic I will always and forever be having babies, and I don't want that.

Wah Wah Wah Wah

As you all know, Carson has finally begun to converse freely with the rest of us. Every day he seems to become more fluent. Occasionally he gets lazy though. If he wants to tell me something but does not want to take the time to form a complete sentence, he says "Mom! Wah wah wah wah?" I always respond with something akin to "I don't know what that means." At that point he gives me a coy little smile and then tells me in English what he is trying to say.

I remember being around Rachel's age and wanting more than anything for the adults in my world to take me seriously. I wanted to be treated like a grown-up. I wanted my ideas to be taken seriously, and not to be laughed at when I would say something "cute". I can see this with Rachel, and I have tried really hard to talk to her like an adult, and not poke fun when she says something I find amusing. Sometimes it is just so hard! Last night she was still awake when we headed to bed, an occurrence that is not terribly rare around our house. Before going upstairs Shelby told her that he would know if she turned her light on. When I came to rotate the laundry she said very seriously "Mom, I want to ask you something... How is it dad knows when I turn my light on?" It took me a second to understand what she was talking about. Once I got it I said, "Oh Rachel, I can't tell you. It's a secret!" I thought she would find this mysterious, but she was just annoyed that I was not letting her in on the whole thing. This put me in a spot since obviously Shelby has no idea whether or not she turns her light on. But if I were to tell her the "secret" the whole scare tactic is shot. In the end I kept it to myself. She was pretty mad at me.

As I said last time, Lilly is really into hunting for worms. As a result, I have endless mason jars lying around outside with the dried up, shriveled remains of dead worms. When her and Carson were getting eggs for me the other day, Carson accidentally let the chickens out of their cage. Lilly was devastated. She cried and cried because "The chickens will eat my worms!" We still have on our hands a little vegetarian. I took the kids to get burgers last night and I asked her if she wanted meat on hers this time. She said (a bit shrilly) "No mom. I'm a vegetarian. Vegetarians don't eat meat!" She might as well have added a "Duh!" to the end of her statement.

My kids are awesome. For spring break we did nothing horribly exciting. We spent a ton of time outside playing together, or with cousins and friends. The best thing about it is we were all together. I loved it! I totally see now why some people would want to home school their kids. Rachel went back to school on Tuesday, and I hated to see her go. She was not exactly thrilled about it either. That girl has a long 12 years ahead of her!

Super Spy

Lilly has been insisting over the past couple of weeks that we call her Super Spy. That is, when she or I remember. Mostly we both forget but on occasion she will quiz me with the question, "Mom, what's my name?" I usually remember at that point and call her by her new name until we both forget again. Rachel's new preferred name is Jakeson. I don't know why.

I had my first eye doctor appointment in close to two years on Wednesday. Rachel and Lilly were with me and helped me pick out my glasses when we were done. They both picked out a pair of round glasses with pink frames, definitely designed for someone twice my age. To humor them, I tried them on just long enough to pretend to consider them. Then I told the girls they just were not my style. Rachel was deeply offended at having her opinion brushed aside, and both girls were mortified that I wanted to get the plain black frames. I swear I almost got the pink ones just to validate their opinion but I just could not do it. Finally we compromised on a pair similar to the simple black frames I liked, only these were purple. For these I got both Rachel and Lilly's approval. After all what did I have daughters for if not to tell me what is cool.

After the eye appointment, Rachel had karate. Up to this point the three of us had been getting along famously, but on the car ride home everything came to a head. The girls were hungry and tired, and I was otherwise engaged in a phone call with Felicia and in no position to offer support. So of course they turned on each other. I heard the fighting and looked into my rear view mirror just in time to see Rachel karate kick Lilly. I had a flash of parenting genius and told them that since they could not get along, the next day they would spend the whole day together practicing. In other words they were grounded. Here is the thing about being grounded that in my moment of genius I forgot. When the kids have to spend all day together in the house "learning" how to get along, I have to be in the house with them. It is a sort of punishment for us all. Let's just say everyone went to bed nice and early last night.

I cannot believe how big my baby boy is getting. Every time I turn around he looks a year older. Part of this is his new found sense of independence. With the independence I always have to remind myself to take a step back. Two days ago Carson insisted on wearing a pair of pajamas as clothes. After he peed in them and changed into regular clothes, he insisted on wearing the regular clothes, backwards collar shirt and all, to bed that night. I drew the line the next day when he wanted to put the same clothes back on after his bath. Another difficulty is the issue of backwards clothes. You would think he has a 50/50 chance of getting his pants, shirt, and/or shoes on the right way. However he seems to get all three on backwards or wrong feet three out of five times. I try not to correct yet. It is impressive enough that he is doing it by himself at this stage. We will approach details later.

Emilia has completely lost interest in nursing and bottles. Because of her history I was nervous about this until it was suggested to me that she does not want to nurse because of all the many other interesting things there are to see and do. This instantly rang true to me. She is constantly looking around and observing. Eating probably really does interfere. Shelby and I took a trip to Salt Lake for his cousin's wedding. We left the other kids home, but took Emilia with us. Emilia does not love car rides, as was evident by her fussiness on the way to and from SLC. She also does not love sleeping on vacation. Maybe it was the excitement of the next days activities that got her all riled up, or just sleeping in a new place, but she was up and ready to go by 5:30 the next morning. You would think this meant she would sleep great on the ride home, but she did not. She was one tired, fussy little baby. Despite this, she was delightful while we were there.

The potty training continues. Carson has been pretty good but I still mostly need to remind him to go. He still poops in his pants pretty much every time. Once he tried desperately to convince me that it was mud in his pants, but I know poop when I see it! The potty training aside, Carson is delightful. He is getting better at talking all the time, and the whole potty training has given him a new sense of Independence. His favorite thing to say is "No, me do it!" I love-hate this phase that all of my children have gone through. Independence for my children means Independence for me eventually. But as of right now, there are some things he wants to do himself that he truly cannot. For these things I have to take a step back and let him try, even though I want desperately to jump in and help. Then there are those things he can do himself but sometimes we are in a hurry. It often creates a little fight between us.

My favorite thing about Rachel is her unique view on the world. Her latest philosophical question posed to me was why did Heavenly Father send us to Earth? I asked her what she thought the reason was and she more or less suggested he sent us here so he could have some peace and quiet up in Heaven. I am sure I am responsible for this idea since I frequently send my kids downstairs to play so I can have some peace of my own.

So spring is here, and with the weather being warmer, my kids have been spending more time outside. For Lilly this means that worm-hunting season has begun. Now she has a partner, our neighbor Elizabeth. The two of them spend hours in my garden collecting and playing with worms. They are not malicious, but I am a little worried`about my own worm supply for the sake of my garden.

Tuesday was my house cleaning day. It was a nasty, cold, snowy day. Rachel did not have school so we spent all day in the house together. I have been trying to limit the amount of TV the kids watch, and because of this we REALLY spent a lot of time together. It was wonderful. Everyone was happy, and because I had nothing else going on, the house-cleaning was not as rushed and urgent as usual. At the end of the day, we were all a little stir crazy so we went to McDonald's in our jammies for ice cream. It was an absolutely perfect day. I have great kids!
 

My First Miracle

I took the girls to get a burger on Monday. Rachel was thrilled because they accidentally gave her an extra piece of cheese. She asked me if I told them to give her extra cheese. I said "No. They must have made a mistake." Rachel exclaimed "Yay! This is my first miracle!" Lilly usually orders her burger sans the burger, and add extra cheese. So her "burger" consists of a bun, two pieces of cheese, and ketchup. This time she asked for pickles and got them. She said "Mine has pickles, that's a miracle too!"
We went to the park that same day, and guess who showed up? Poopy Dangle and Derek! For those of you who do not know, or do not remember, Poopy Dangle was Rachel's first imaginary friend. A few months later she added Derek. When Lilly was old enough she also adopted these two fellows as her friends. Both have been MIA for a good year or more. Not much has changed with the boys except Poopy Dangle is now eight-years-old instead of ten.

Lilly has a huge vocabulary, but often does not use her big words correctly. She told me that she did not like her toys because they were insisting her. I quizzed her on the meaning of the word "insisting". She did not have a clue. I think using big words is her attempt to be a little more grown up. The trouble is, not all of her words are entirely appropriate. I told her Emilia keeps spilling Cheerios on the floor and she said "That damn Emilia!" She told me she made the word up.

We are potty training Carson. This has got to be hands down my least favorite parenting job to date. Even so, things have gone relatively well. He has been running around in nothing but underwear, and we transport the toddler toilet from room to room for him. He pretty well makes it to the toilet every time. Pooping is a whole different story. He has yet to even attempt to make it to the toilet for bowel movements. We are of course using a lot of bribery to get him to use the toilet for either one. On Sunday I told him if he peed in the toilet I would give him a star for his chart. He said "OK...and candy...and popcorn...and a toy...and juice!" I of course agreed to all of his demands.

So one month ago I had the sweetest, easiest, most laid back baby in the whole world. What a difference a month makes. As we speak Emila is strapped to my chest while I type, because all of the sudden she wants to be held all the time. This is a demand I do not have time for. The crying bothers the other kids, but all of their attention does no good. She wants to be held by ME! She will soon learn that constant holding by mom is for only children, not for a family of six.